Why are perceived or real slights interpreted as rejections and reality by pwBPD?
12.06.2025 04:50
I want you to love me. I want you to love me so much that you’ll forgive my always unintentionally bad behavior and never ever reject or abandon me.
If there is any doubt in my mind that this slight is in fact reality, I will convince myself that it is the reality to prepare myself for the worst possible end result. I’m always going to choose the worst possible outcome because assuming that you can see the good and bad in me simultaneously and still love me makes me feel like an arrogant fool and just doesn’t make sense to me because I see so little good in myself.
In my disordered mind, it only takes one negative perception to signal the demise of our relationship and your inevitable rejection of me.
Because your opinion of me is so important to me, it cuts me to the bone when I perceive any negativity. It makes me feel unlovable if you, this wonderful, amazing person, doesn’t love me and maybe never really did. It tells me that you can see how awful of a person I really am. I always knew you were too good for me, and now you’ve realized it too. Which means you will reject me.
So now I believe that all you can see in me are my endless flaws. It means that you finally see me as the defective person that I really am and you will give up on me and reject me.
If I really care about you and you are really important to me, then I care about your opinion, and your judgment of me is profoundly crucial to me.